Reader ask GC to elevate the prestige of Malay man as "Wanita Melayu lebih suka lelaki Mat Salleh, Lelaki Melayu suka bawa kedai Mamak"

Answer by The Gentleman:

Dear Mr. S,

Thank you for your thoughtful message, and for your kind words about GC. I truly appreciate your support for our platform, which aims to advocate the ethos of enduring class and encourage excellence in all aspects of life.

Your observation about the dating trends among high-value women in Malaysia, and their growing preference for Caucasian men, is indeed a topic worth discussing. It's easy to attribute this to differences in how men approach dating, but at its core, the issue might reflect something deeper: how we, as men, perceive ourselves and our own value.

In Western cultures, chivalry is indeed deeply rooted in their heritage—whether in the Arthurian legends, or the romantic quest of Alexander The Great. This influence from the Kings of great civilization have shaped how many men in the West conduct themselves in terms of romantic finesse and elegance. Meanwhile, here in Malaysia, we are fortunate to have our own rich cultural heritage, one that places a high emphasis on moderation in everything. The Custom of the Malay Kings ("Adat Raja-Raja Melayu") embodies this philosophy, as you can read more about in our article here. The refinement and nobility of Malay culture hold these values in high regard.

But S, as much as we can look to our heritage for inspiration, what's equally important is to look inward before we look outward. Before focusing on attracting high-value women, we must first strive to become the highest-caliber versions of ourselves. The question then becomes: What can we do to elevate the image of Malay men in the eyes of these high-value women?

In my experience, it's a broad and very tough subject—covering chivalry, elegance, and purpose. The key is to start by emulating the best attributes of our fathers or male role models to find the benchmark for this subjects. For me, it was my dad’s physically fit and impeccable taste in attire and his deep sense of chivalry during dates. He believed that while it’s the man’s duty to provide a unique and classy experience, it’s about making the evening memorable through thoughtful actions. I still remember how my dad took my mother to PJ Hilton for a dinner date, back when it was the classiest place in Petaling Jaya. He would often share the story of how the current Selangor Sultan, who was the Raja Muda Selangor (Prince of Selangor) at the time, smiled at both of them as they dined. That memory and his attention to detail in creating such memorable experiences inspired me to elevate my own standards when I took my lady out on dates during my bachelor days. However, if your budget is tight, you can consider other option of great date, as simple as visiting an art gallery or watching a polo match; these experiences enrich the moment with her.

Remember, it’s about respecting her time. If a lady chooses to spend her time with you, she’s made a decision out of many options. As a man, we must honor that by providing her with a meaningful experience. It’s not just about impressing her; it’s about creating a genuine connection while raising the bar whenever she is with you. I know, it is easier said than done.

From the point of philosophy, Nietzsche's "Will to Power" speaks to the fundamental driving force in man, one that strives for growth and excellence. In this context, the idea suggests that if Malay man doesn’t strive to embody the highest version of himself, he cannot expect to attract or maintain the admiration of a high-caliber Malay lady who values excellence. To demand the best from others, one must first embody the qualities worthy of respect and admiration.

To answer your second question, at GC, we believe that to elevate the perception of Malay gentlemen, we must first champion the values of refinement and sophistication within our own lives. This require commitment and learning from mistakes. We are not perfect and we know this. Hopefully, one day we will set a standard that others will notice. As Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist author aptly said, “When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”

Thank you once again for reaching out, S. I look forward to continuing this important conversation and working together to elevate the prestige of Malay gentlemen.

With gratitude and respect,

The Gentleman

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