15.08.2024

Unpopular opinion: The future of chivalry

What is the future of chivalry in a world that prizes independence, equality, and progress over tradition?

By Raja Izz

Robert Langdon kneels in front of the Louvre in The Da Vinci Code movie (credit: Sony Pictures)

Chivalry is dead. Once revered as the hallmark of honorable behavior, chivalry has increasingly become viewed as outdated, patriarchal, and irrelevant. Yet, for those who appreciate the principles of respect, courtesy, and valor, the concept of chivalry is not merely a relic of a bygone era. This raises an intriguing question: what is the future of chivalry in a world that prizes independence, equality, and progress over tradition?

This article offers an unpopular opinion: chivalry, though considered outmoded by many, still holds significant value in modern society. However, to remain relevant, it must evolve. Chivalry is not about clinging stubbornly to antiquated practices but about reinterpreting its core tenets in a way that aligns with contemporary values.

The Perception Problem: Chivalry vs. Equality

The most common criticism of chivalry today is that it perpetuates inequality. Acts such as opening doors, offering to pay the bill, or standing when a woman enters a room are often dismissed as condescending gestures rooted in a patriarchal system that sees women as weak or in need of protection. This perspective is not without merit; after all, traditional chivalry was born in a time when societal roles were sharply divided by gender.

However, the essence of chivalry is not about reinforcing hierarchy—it is about showing respect. In this sense, the future of chivalry should be less about which gender is performing the act and more about mutual consideration and respect for others. The modern reinterpretation of chivalry might see men and women alike engaging in small acts of kindness and courtesy, not because one is superior to the other, but because these gestures foster civility in an increasingly chaotic world.

Chivalry as a Set of Values, Not Rituals

One of the main reasons people resist the concept of chivalry is because they confuse its symbolic actions with its underlying values. Yes, the image of a knight offering his cloak to a lady in distress is romantic, but the real value lies in the spirit of generosity, empathy, and protection that motivated such acts. Stripped of its ceremonial trappings, chivalry is really about living according to principles that prioritize others’ well-being.

In the future, chivalry could evolve from being a performative display into a more substantive and subtle practice. Instead of grand gestures, it could be reflected in the way people treat each other daily—how they listen, communicate, and act with integrity. The focus should shift from following a strict code of behavior to embodying the values that make those behaviors meaningful: kindness, respect, and selflessness.

In Greek mythology and Roman mythology, Hector (left) was a Trojan prince and the greatest fighter for Troy in the Trojan War. During the European Middle Ages, Hector figures as one of the Nine Worthies noted by Jacques de Longuyon, known not only for his courage but also for his noble and courtly nature. (Picture: Warner Bros Pictures)

The Gentleman’s Dilemma: To Be or Not to Be Chivalrous

The modern gentleman faces a dilemma. In an age of increasing gender neutrality and changing social dynamics, should he continue to practice the chivalrous gestures he was taught, or is he expected to abandon them in favor of a more “progressive” approach?

The unpopular opinion is that abandoning chivalry entirely would be a mistake. The world could benefit from more, not less, respect and courtesy. However, the expression of chivalry must be adapted to suit today’s environment. For example, a gentleman offering his seat on public transport should not be seen as an assumption of another person’s weakness, but rather as a recognition of the importance of making others feel comfortable and valued. The future gentleman must be perceptive enough to recognize when his actions might be misinterpreted and flexible enough to adjust accordingly.

Chivalry Beyond Gender: A Universal Code of Conduct

If chivalry is to survive, it must extend beyond gendered interactions. The future of chivalry lies in its potential to become a universal code of conduct that everyone, regardless of gender, can follow. Acts of chivalry—such as holding doors open, offering a helping hand, or showing extra consideration in difficult situations—should be practiced by all. A world where people consistently go out of their way to make others feel respected and valued is a world worth striving for.

This shift would see chivalry not as a gendered expectation but as a mark of character. In this reimagined version, chivalry becomes synonymous with treating all people with dignity, empathy, and respect. The essence of chivalry—a commitment to doing what’s right, even when it’s inconvenient—remains intact, but its expression is updated for a more egalitarian society.

The Loneliness of the Chivalrous

It must be acknowledged that those who choose to live by a chivalrous code may face backlash. In a world where the norm is increasingly centered on individualism and personal gain, the chivalrous person may be seen as out of touch, naïve, or even foolish. They may find themselves mocked for offering politeness in a climate that often rewards selfishness and abrasiveness.

But this is precisely why chivalry is so important—and why it needs to be preserved. In a culture where attention viral and transactional relationships dominate, chivalry is a quiet rebellion. It is a commitment to higher principles in a world that often values the quick win over enduring respect. The true future of chivalry lies not in its widespread revival but in the fact that it remains an intentional, even rare, practice among those who choose to honor its ideals despite their unpopularity.

Conclusion: Chivalry Is Dead—Long Live Chivalry

The future of chivalry may be less about grand gestures and more about the small, everyday acts of respect and kindness that uplift others. For those who believe in the enduring value of courtesy, integrity, and honor, chivalry is far from dead—it simply needs to be redefined. The unpopular opinion is that chivalry is not just worth preserving; it’s more crucial than ever in a society that often forgets the importance of treating others with decency. Chivalry, in its evolved form, can be a timeless pursuit, a beacon of civility in an increasingly fragmented world.

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