28.06.2025
Still waiting for chivalry - Why modern Malaysian women are giving up on dating
A candid letter from a 29-year-old professional woman in Kuala Lumpur reveals why many Malaysian women are losing hope in local men - calling out the lack of effort, elegance, and chivalry in modern dating culture.

Photo credit: Shutterstock
Dear GC,
My name is Diana. I am 29 years old, a professional woman in Kuala Lumpur, and I represent a frustrated majority of modern Malaysian women who are slowly giving up on the idea of dating.
Why we gived-up?
Not because we’ve given up on love, but because we’ve grown tired of the lack of chivalry among our men, especially our fellow Malay men.
Let me be brutally honest.
We spend hours getting ready.
We invest in our appearance.
We learn the etiquette of conversation, table manners, dress codes.
We read, we evolve, we make effort.
And yet, what do we get in return?
A man who arrives late.
Who picks a mediocre spot without thought.
Who stares at his phone more than into our eyes.
Who doesn't open the door, doesn't ask how we got home.
Worse still, he splits the bill after choosing the restaurant himself.
Is this the modern Malay gentleman?
We are not asking for extravagance. We are asking for effort.
We are not demanding submission. We’re asking for consideration.
Have you ever asked yourself why so many women secretly admire how other nation men behave? I'm talking about Japan, Europe, and the US. It’s not because they are a developed nation. It’s because they show up with efforts. They walk beside you with pride. They dress well, they speak thoughtfully, and they respect your time. They understand that elegance is not about money. It’s about manners.
Where are our Malay men like this?
I can’t count how many times my friends and I have returned home, beautifully dressed, hearts hopeful, only to feel like we went on a date with a boy still trapped in his teenage ego. Not a man who leads with confidence and care. Not a gentleman.
There are women in this country who still believe in gentlemen. But we are tired of carrying the emotional and aesthetic weight of modern dating alone.
So, dear GC, let me leave your readers, especially the men, with this:
Its not that nice guy finish last. Being "cincai" is.