26.07.2025

A reader’s concern: On liking women’s photos on social media

A female professional voices her concern over an article advocating online interactions with women, urging the platform to reflect on values in modern relationships.

Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Benjaminrobyn Jespersen on Unsplash and Aleksander Kaczmarek/iStock/Getty Images Plus.


 

Dear GC,

My name is Jes, and I am currently working as a business development manager at an international bank in Malaysia. I came across your site through a private Facebook group, where one of the members had shared a link to your article. In it, you expressed the view that it's acceptable for men to interact with women on social media through gestures such as liking or admiring their photos.

Although I was previously unaware of your publication, I feel compelled to share my perspective. Whether your platform is widely known or just starting out, I believe there is a responsibility to be mindful of what is published -especially when addressing sensitive topics that affect how women are treated and perceived. Encouraging men to engage with women online in the way you described, even if it seems harmless to some, can come across as dismissive of women's boundaries. It may unintentionally normalize a culture where admiration is imposed rather than respectfully earned.

Personally, I found the tone of the article troubling, as it did not appear to consider how such behavior might be interpreted by women who receive these gestures. I’m also concerned about the implications of your statement on relationships. From my perspective, many women would find it uncomfortable if their partners publicly admired other women’s photos, regardless of the intention. It raises questions about respect, emotional boundaries, and mutual understanding in a committed relationship.

I hope you will consider how such opinions are perceived by a broader audience. Your article, unfortunately, did not reflect the values I believe with being a true gentleman - such as deep respect for women. This is my honest feedback, and I share it not with malice, but in the hope that your platform will be more thoughtful moving forward.

 

Sincerely,

Jes

Answer by The Gent:

Hi Jes,

Thank you sincerely for your letter.

Your words carry a weight of conviction, and we have read them with the attention and respect they deserve.

At GC, we believe that being a gentleman is not a title one claims, but a lifelong pursuit - marked by disappointments, reflections, and growth. The editorial observation you referenced - that liking a photo on social media does not necessarily constitute betrayal - was shared not as a universal decree, but as one viewpoint within the broader conversation about modern relationships and digital etiquette.

Let us also be clear:

Nowhere in our article did we encourage people to go out and like women’s photos on Instagram.

Our intention was not to promote such behaviour, nor to dismiss the emotional realities many women may feel in the digital space. Rather, we sought to respond to a specific question submitted by a reader navigating the complex emotional territory of relationships, trust, and social media.

In that response, we explained our position:

“True infidelity is not a swipe, a scroll, or a double tap. Infidelity, in its real form, is an invested intent. It involves a chain of deliberate actions - initiating flirtation, exchanging numbers, engaging in private conversations, planning a rendezvous, showing up, and repeating the cycle of deception.
It is not momentary attention. It is sustained, secretive commitment to betrayal.”

 

We understand, however, that every individual, relationship, and household lives by its own moral and emotional code. A gesture as small as liking a photo may be viewed by some as not harmful, and by others as a breach of emotional boundaries. Both perspectives are valid, and your response reinforces just how personal these interpretations can be.

We deeply value feedback like yours, because it reminds us of the gravity of our role as a publication. What one partner accepts, another may not - and that is precisely why such matters belong in private dialogue between two people, not in blanket generalisations.

We do not seek to impose a moral code, nor do we claim perfection. As men striving to walk the path of honour, we know that growth often comes through challenge and introspection - even when we stumble or fall short. A lot.

Jes, we understand that our perspective may not change your view of GC, and that’s okay. What matters is that your voice is heard, and in hearing it, we are reminded why we must always keep striving - not just to speak, but to listen.

Thank you again for writing to us. We honour the sincerity of your message.

 

With respect,
The Gent

 

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Gentlemen's Code has your back! We're thrilled to announce our brand new section on our website: "Ask the Gentleman." Submit your burning questions on all things refined living, health & fitness, relationships, culture, style, and etiquette by emailing editor@gentlemanscodes.com.

Please note:

1. We no longer accept letters on marital or divorce issues.

2. We do not entertain unconstructive correspondence, race and religion topics, or hate speech.

3. If you are writing on behalf of an institution, organisation, or formal body and wish to submit a letter to GC, we kindly request that you provide reasonable proof of your affiliation or existence. This helps us maintain the integrity of all correspondence.

4. We reserve the right to adjust the tone or language of any published letter- without altering its core content or context - to ensure that the standards of tact, respect, and public discourse are upheld.

Thank you for your understanding.

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