15.06.2025

Breaking up with a girlfriend over......GC?

After five years of relationship, Asyraf’s girlfriend threatened to leave him over his support for GC. In a heated letter, he defends his choices, challenges her accusations, and questions how modern men are expected to "honor women" under irrational demands.

50 Shades of Grey (photo for illustration only)

Photo credit: Universal Pictures

 

Good morning GC,

My name is Asyraf, Just had a big quarrel with my girlfriend and she has threatened to break up with me after 5 years of relationship. Reason being? We argued over GC. What has GC done? In my humble opinion, nothing at all.

But she is making a big fuss over it when it started a month ago. I don't actually go into GC website and read your content all the time. I follow many other men's publication. I am not a child where I would blindly get inspired by men's publication and she claims I would. I’ve been following GC for about two years now. She never brought it up because, until recently, she never checked who I follow on Instagram.

Then last month, she suddenly decided to comb through my following list. That’s when she began interrogating me about a few beautiful women I had followed. Then she saw I was following GC and wants me to unfollow GC. I asked her—what has GC done? She said you’re a publication for corrupt men, playboys, and that by following you, I’ll end up like your team.

How absurd is that bro? She actually believes that prominent men's publications are full of "clean men"? How naive. Even I got my own demons in my closet and I don't have them because I followed GC.

She blabs about how GC inspires men to cheat and find another woman. I asked her for proof. She showed me screenshots of GC Community liking a few attractive photos. And my only response was one word: “So?”

She even called out your editors by name, and I defended you, telling her not to be ridiculous. That got me into more trouble. Now she’s demanding to see every photo I’ve ever liked on Instagram—which I refuse. And suddenly, I’m being accused of cheating. She’s calling me names, harassing me with endless phone calls, and flooding my WhatsApp with hate and anger.

Over what? GC?

Guys, this is madness. Someone I have been with for 5 years, and I only knew who she really is a month ago when she displays all this barbaric behavior over something that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Now tell me—how can I “honor women” in this situation? I just can’t agree with this kind of mindset. I’m a man. If she wants to end this five-year relationship, then so be it. But I will never honor her by complying with unreasonable demands—like unfollowing GC or submitting to this witch-hunt mentality. I will never entertain her request to review my “liked” photos on social media.

She’s taking the phrase “honor women” way too literally. Intelligence must factor into how we honor someone. If a woman asked us to jump off a 20-story building, should we “honor” her by doing so?

You can’t just say women are foolish—because they’re not. Many are educated, articulate, and capable of critical thought. My girlfriend studied in Europe, after all. But in this case, she’s just desperate to win an argument, and it’s come across as sheer nonsense.

Just sharing my experience here for those out there. Let me know your advice if I am doing the right thing, which I believe I am.

There’s no space in my life for someone so unstable.

 

Asyraf.

Answer by The Gentleman:

Hi Asyraf,

First, thank you for writing to us, and for trusting GC enough to share what must have been a deeply personal and difficult moment in your life.

A five-year relationship ending in conflict over a publication is not something we take lightly, even if, like you, we stand somewhat baffled by it.

Let’s begin with the obvious: we are not in the business of breaking relationships. If your partner truly believes that following a platform like GC—or any other publication that champions taste, thought, and male refinement—will suddenly turn a man into a “playboy,” then we may be dealing with something far deeper than social media anxieties.

Still, we want to speak with you, because this is not just about GC. It’s about perception, trust, and what we all now wrestle with in the digital age of overexposure.

You brought up something worth expanding on: the idea that liking a photo on Instagram equates to infidelity.

Let us be very clear:
True infidelity is not a swipe, a scroll, or a double tap.

Infidelity, in its real form, is an invested intent. It involves a chain of deliberate actions—initiating flirtation, exchanging numbers, engaging in private conversations, planning a rendezvous, showing up, and repeating the cycle of deception.
It is not momentary attention.
It is sustained, secretive commitment to betrayal.

And if we start confusing attention with intention, then we risk trivialising both loyalty and love.

A man’s fidelity isn’t measured by his Instagram activity, but by his values in solitude, by the consistent choices he makes when no one is watching.

That said, Asyraf—here is our reflection for you:

As men of GC, we are not immune to critique. We understand that in being a publication for men, we walk a delicate line. We showcase elegance, success, aspirational living, and yes, the beauty that inspires the male gaze. But never at the expense of integrity. We are not in the business of ideological striptease—seducing our readers into cheap thrills or empty bravado.

Our readers, we hope, are men like yourself—who seek refinement. Who can appreciate the beauty of soul and character, without compromising their values. Who can sit across from their partners and say:

“You have my attention. And you always will.”

So, are you doing the right thing?

If refusing to live under unreasonable suspicion is the right thing, then yes.
If choosing self-respect over surveillance is the right thing, then yes.
If walking away from a relationship that has eroded trust, clarity, and compassion is the right thing—then yes, Asyraf, you are.

But also—may you carry this moment not with bitterness, but with clarity. Relationships are not warzones. If you must part ways, part with dignity and decorum. If you must choose freedom, do so with peace.

Whatever happens next, may it be filled with greater understanding, deeper conversations, and relationships where neither party feels the need to snoop, accuse, or defend.

We’ll be here. Not to replace wisdom, but to walk alongside it.

 

With respect,

The Gent

RELATED READING: The silent crisis: How Instagram is rewiring men's minds and destroying their lives


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Please note:

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