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What To Look for in a Partner – The 3 C’s

"The Old Money Book" author shares key characteristics to look for in a long-term partner.

Article contribution by Byron Tully

Picture: Sony Pictures

I’ve written extensively, online and in my books, about how to meet, date, get engaged, and get married to the right person. Sure, it’s difficult to define ‘right’, and so much randomness seems to be involved as we go through the process of falling in love.

Still…I think it’s important we get our heads around a few fundamentals, even if it’s just a starting point.

Here are some characteristics to look for in a partner. They won’t guarantee that you’re relationship will improve over time, or be fulfilling, but they are strong indicators.

1. Curious. The person is interested in exploring new ideas, countries, cultures, and subjects. They are aware that they don’t know it all and want to know more. Not in a nosy way, but in a way that enriches them and their relationships. Habits include reading books, not watching television; exercising, not slugging; conversation, not gossip; travel, not shopping; and education as a lifelong pursuit.

2. Compassionate. If someone isn’t compassionate, no matter how passionate they are for you, the relationship won’t have legs. A person has to care about other people. If they don’t, over time, they won’t care enough about you to sustain and grow a long term commitment.

3. Confident. If a person doesn’t know themselves and have confidence in their abilities to meet challenges, set goals, and take risks, then they probably won’t make a good partner. You’ll need someone to lean on at some point, someone who can carry the load for both of you for a time. A person without confidence can’t do this. A person who requires feedback from you all the time to make decisions becomes a burden, and the relationship won’t remain healthy.

About Byron Tully (right)

Grandson of a newspaper publisher and son of an oil industry executive, Byron Tully is an author who also writes for the entertainment industry. His nonfiction debut, "The Old Money Book," was published in April of 2013 to excellent reviews and enjoys consistently strong sales worldwide. His other works include "The Old Money Guide To Marriage", "Old Money, New Woman: How To Manage Your Money and Your Life", and "Old Money Style - The Gentleman's Edition".

Byron regularly contributes to its blog, www.theoldmoneybook.com, which has been visited by over 1 million readers since 2014.

In February of 2020, "Old Money Style - The Gentleman's Edition" was published by Acorn Street Press. This fourth book in the Old Money series reveals the fundamentals of dressing well in a classic and timeless style. In November of 2020, Byron published a 2nd Edition of "The Old Money Book", which expands on his original classic. This 2nd Edition includes vital information and insights for readers as they navigate a very different, post-pandemic world.

Byron speaks frequently about the culture and values of Old Money. He has been interviewed by KABC New York's Financial Quarterback Show, The Huffington Post, and The Simple Dollar, among others.

He lives in Paris and is happily married to an Old Money Gal from Boston.

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