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03.02.2025

What "Old Money" taught me about true luxury

Discover the quiet signals of true luxury and sophistication. Learn the difference between old money and new money values, from quality craftsmanship to understated elegance.

Words: Alex Harrington

Photos courtesy of My Lake Como Wedding.

In 2017, I started ghostwriting for luxury clients. Not because I dreamed of writing product descriptions, but because I was fascinated by a world I couldn’t access. I’d always appreciated quality, had decent taste, but there was this whole realm of unspoken rules and knowledge I couldn’t quite crack.

My education in true luxury began slowly. Writing for high-end real estate, I noticed how certain properties were described differently. Not the obvious things – square footage or ocean views – but subtle details about morning light, about how spaces had hosted generations of quiet conversations.

Photo: Aman Venice

 

The real insights came from client meetings. I remember one particular morning, waiting in a study that told more about "old money" than any article could. Nothing matched – that was the first thing I noticed. Every piece had its own story. The desk wasn’t modern luxury, but it had perfect patina from decades of use. Quality ages differently.

What struck me most was how differently my clients approached luxury. "New money" clients would list their brands, their latest acquisitions, their plans for showing success. "Old money" clients never mentioned brands at all. They discussed heritage, materials, craftsmanship. They knew why certain pieces mattered, not just what they cost.

I learned to spot the differences:

"New money" focuses on:

  • Latest limited editions

  • Matching everything

  • Obvious brands

  • Perfect newness

  • Showing success

"Old money" values:

  • Quiet quality

  • Natural patina

  • Perfect maintenance

  • Family pieces

  • Understanding craft

The most valuable lesson? True luxury isn’t about spending the most money – it’s about understanding why some things are worth their price. I watched clients skip trendy boutiques for small workshops where craftsmen still work by hand. Saw them choose vintage pieces over new, simply because quality used to mean something different.

These days, when I observe luxury spaces, I notice different things. Not the obvious displays of wealth, but the quiet signals of understanding:

  • How someone handles quality pieces

  • Whether they rush meals

  • If they discuss prices

  • How they treat service staff

  • Whether they value maintenance

True sophistication isn’t about showing what you have. It’s about understanding what actually matters.

Last week, I sat in another client meeting. The contrast couldn’t have been clearer. While others ordered the latest trendy spirits, my client chose a simple martini. Nothing fancy. No elaborate garnish. Just quiet precision in every detail. The bartender, who’d been there decades, didn’t need to ask how he wanted it. That’s the difference – relationships over display, understanding over showing.

For those looking to develop true sophistication, start here:

1. Learn materials before brands.

Understand why certain leathers age beautifully while others deteriorate.

Know why specific watches command respect while others merely command attention.

2. Value maintenance over acquisition.

The most sophisticated people I’ve met don’t constantly buy new things – they take immaculate care of what they have.

3. Build relationships, not collections.

Whether it’s with your tailor, your wine merchant, or your hotel concierge – these connections matter more than any purchase.

Because here’s what I’ve learned after years of writing for luxury clients:

Real quality doesn’t need to announce itself. It’s too busy being excellent.

And perhaps that’s the most valuable insight of all.

About the contributor

Alex Harrington

is a luxury lifestyle writer and consultant, offering insights into sophisticated living and old-world elegance. Through years of working with distinguished clients, he shares authentic knowledge about quality, etiquette, and timeless sophistication.

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