18.05.2025

Tunku Speaks: Why "cancel culture" is not the mark of ladies & gentlemen

In a time when social media outrage rules, GC Editor-at-Large YM Tunku Sophia urges society to reclaim civility, restraint, and respect for private lives. A powerful call against moral self-righteousness and public shaming.

Words: Tunku Sophia, Editor-at-large

Getty Images.

There was a time - not that long ago - when we understood the difference between someone’s public role and their private life.

Back then, we judged people by their ideas and the work they did, not by their personal mistakes. We knew how to disagree without demanding someone be fired or publicly shamed.

But today, I’m troubled by a rising trend: strangers who think they have the right to ruin someone’s reputation just because they disapprove of their private life. Armed with a social media account, fake emails, and a sense of moral superiority, these people demand that community leaders, thought leaders, or thinkers lose their jobs - not for the quality of their work, but for private choices that don’t match some imagined core values or belief.

Photo: Getty Images.

So I ask: who made you judge, jury, and executioner?

We now live in a time where manners are replaced with entitlement, gossip is seen as activism, and blackmail e-mail is thrown around like a weapon. It’s as if people are breaking into someone’s house, digging through their personal things, and then demanding they be punished for it.

This isn’t justice. It’s nosiness disguised as morality.

The Illusion of Moral Superiority

Many people today think they have the right to cancel or silence others. Social media gives everyone a platform, and some believe this makes them the boss of the world. But just because your voice is loud doesn’t mean you’re right.

Here’s the truth: a person should be judged by their contributions to society, not by a few private mistakes.

Some of the greatest minds in history were far from perfect. We are all human. They may have had unusual habits, messy personal lives, or made poor choices. But their ideas changed the world. Their work contribute to the betterment of society. Do we throw all that away just because they don’t live like saints?

Can’t we accept that someone can be both flawed and brilliant? That they can make mistakes in private and still lead with integrity?

True Civility Means Knowing When to Look Away

Being a gentleman or a lady means showing restraint. It means knowing when to say, “This is none of my business.” It means not throwing stones just because someone left the window open.

At GC, we support respectful debate and constructive feedbacks - but never cruelty. If someone loses their position, it should be because they failed in their duty, not because they failed someone’s personal moral checklist.

Photo: Getty Images.

The Problem with the Moral Mob

Let’s be honest. The people who shout the loudest about others’ failures are often the ones who have the most to hide themselves. It’s easy to act like a saint when no one is looking into your own life.

So before you try to “take someone down,” ask yourself: are you fighting for truth - or are you just feeding your ego? Are you standing up for justice - or are you just bitter that someone else has a platform or influence?

We are not gods. We are human. And being humble is the first step toward real wisdom.

A Personal Reflection

As someone raised in a long line of family that values dignity, I ask us all - especially my fellow Malaysians - to think carefully. There’s a big difference between holding someone accountable and tearing them down. We need to bring back basic manners - not just as politeness, but as a guide to help us behave with honour and self-awareness.

Let’s not become a society so obsessed with spying and shouting that we end up silencing the voices we actually need to hear.

A true gentleman doesn’t scream. A true lady doesn’t accuse. And a civilised society doesn’t pretend to be God.

About the Author

Y.M. Tunku Sophia

Tunku Sophia brings a rarefied sensibility to GC, where her role as Editor-at-Large extends far beyond editorial finesse. She is both a custodian of heritage and a tastemaker of modern refinement - navigating the intersections of nobility, intellect, and global sophistication.

Educated in Europe and raised amidst the protocols of international diplomacy, Tunku Sophia has cultivated a lifelong devotion to the codes of high society - those unwritten rules that govern elegance, discretion, and true class.

Her editorial lens champions a revival of chivalry in a world increasingly enamoured with the superficial. Whether spotlighting princely heirs who exude understated gravitas or offering unflinching critiques of nouveau extravagance, Tunku Sophia remains committed to the pursuit of timeless values in an age of fleeting trends.

Please enter invitation code

Request access

Tunku Speaks: Why "cancel culture" is not the mark of ladies & gentlemen

In a time when social media outrage rules, GC Editor-at-Large YM Tunku Sophia urges society to reclaim civility, restraint, and respect for private lives. A powerful call against moral self-righteousness and public shaming.

Words: Tunku Sophia, Editor-at-large

Getty Images.

There was a time - not that long ago - when we understood the difference between someone’s public role and their private life.

Back then, we judged people by their ideas and the work they did, not by their personal mistakes. We knew how to disagree without demanding someone be fired or publicly shamed.

Photo: Getty Images.

So I ask: who made you judge, jury, and executioner?

We now live in a time where manners are replaced with entitlement, gossip is seen as activism, and blackmail e-mail is thrown around like a weapon. It’s as if people are breaking into someone’s house, digging through their personal things, and then demanding they be punished for it.

This isn’t justice. It’s nosiness disguised as morality.

The Illusion of Moral Superiority

Many people today think they have the right to cancel or silence others. Social media gives everyone a platform, and some believe this makes them the boss of the world. But just because your voice is loud doesn’t mean you’re right.

Here’s the truth: a person should be judged by their contributions to society, not by a few private mistakes.

Can’t we accept that someone can be both flawed and brilliant? That they can make mistakes in private and still lead with integrity?

True Civility Means Knowing When to Look Away

Being a gentleman or a lady means showing restraint. It means knowing when to say, “This is none of my business.” It means not throwing stones just because someone left the window open.

At GC, we support respectful debate and constructive feedbacks - but never cruelty. If someone loses their position, it should be because they failed in their duty, not because they failed someone’s personal moral checklist.

Photo: Getty Images.

The Problem with the Moral Mob

Let’s be honest. The people who shout the loudest about others’ failures are often the ones who have the most to hide themselves. It’s easy to act like a saint when no one is looking into your own life.

So before you try to “take someone down,” ask yourself: are you fighting for truth - or are you just feeding your ego? Are you standing up for justice - or are you just bitter that someone else has a platform or influence?

We are not gods. We are human. And being humble is the first step toward real wisdom.

A Personal Reflection

Let’s not become a society so obsessed with spying and shouting that we end up silencing the voices we actually need to hear.

A true gentleman doesn’t scream. A true lady doesn’t accuse. And a civilised society doesn’t pretend to be God.

About the Author

Y.M. Tunku Sophia

Tunku Sophia brings a rarefied sensibility to GC, where her role as Editor-at-Large extends far beyond editorial finesse. She is both a custodian of heritage and a tastemaker of modern refinement - navigating the intersections of nobility, intellect, and global sophistication.

Educated in Europe and raised amidst the protocols of international diplomacy, Tunku Sophia has cultivated a lifelong devotion to the codes of high society - those unwritten rules that govern elegance, discretion, and true class.

Related posts