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The essence of a true gentleman in the age of social media

Social media portrays gentlemen as stylish men with expensive possessions. But being a gentleman is much deeper and everlasting..

By Amir Benzaki

Richard Madden & Lily James for 'Cinderella' - Getty


In an era where Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest shape perceptions and tastes, the definition of a gentleman often gets lost in the digital noise. Social media has made it remarkably easy to replicate the aesthetic of a gentleman. A few clicks and taps, and one can emulate the sartorial elegance of classic menswear icons. The curated images of well-dressed men, flaunting classic menswear, exuding an air of nonchalance in a vintage car at a fancy place, can easily mislead one to believe that being a gentleman is majorly about appearance and material possessions. But the essence of a true gentleman goes far beyond the superficial.

"A gentleman is defined by how well he is refined"

Its the quality that truly sets him apart from mere pretenders. It is not enough to just simply replicate the look; a true gentleman embodies a holistic set of values that influence every aspect of his life. It is rooted in a tradition of refinement, good character, and a deep-seated respect for education, heritage, and culture.

"Good Manners: The Bedrock of Gentlemanliness"

A gentleman’s polished exterior is a reflection of his inner values. Dressing well is more than a fashion statement; it is a sign of respect for oneself and others. Good manners are the cornerstone of his interactions, demonstrating an inherent understanding of and respect for social etiquette. This refinement in behavior is what truly distinguishes a gentleman from the crowd.

"Articulated and Educated"

A gentleman is well-educated, which enables him to communicate effectively and articulately. His knowledge and wisdom are not flaunted but are evident in his conversations. He values learning and continually seeks to expand his horizons, understanding that education is a lifelong pursuit. His eloquence and depth of knowledge make him a captivating conversationalist, one who can engage with a wide range of topics.

Getty | Vittorio Zunino Celotto


"Health Is His Greatest Wealth"

In a world obsessed with material wealth, a gentleman recognizes that his greatest asset other than his sharp mind is his health. He understands the importance of physical fitness and mental well-being, striving to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle. His dedication to health is not just about personal well-being but also about being capable and reliable for those who depend on him.

"Respect for Heritage and Culture"

A gentleman appreciates heritage and culture, recognizing the value in the traditions and processes built by those who came before him. He respects the past and strives to preserve its lessons while adapting to the present. This respect for heritage is evident in his appreciation for fine craftsmanship over flashy and trendy piece, be it in his choice of clothing, shoe he walks in, the books he reads, or the art he admires.

"Its A Culture, Not Just a Style"

The life of a gentleman is a culture, not just a style. It encompasses a set of values and behaviors that go beyond mere appearance. While the sartorial elegance of a well-dressed man can be easily mimicked, the true essence of a gentleman is rooted in his character and actions. To define a gentleman solely by his attire is to reduce his life to a mere cosplayer, stripping away the depth and authenticity that define his existence.

The image of a gentleman on social media may catch the eye, but in reality, a gentleman's life is a testament to a culture of excellence, not just a superficial style. In the age of digital impressions, my hope is for more men to strive to embody the true essence of gentlemanliness in all its dimensions.


Amir Benzaki

Amir Benzaki is a realtor, with profound appreciation for gentlemanly culture and timeless elegance. He finds solace in his passion for suit-making at the small sartoria he owns. Balancing his professional life with his love for classic tailoring.

Instagram: @amirbenzaki

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