How to behave like a Bangsawan: A gentleman’s guide to class

Danial Deen Isa-Kalebic of Brunei.

Photo credit: Instagram/@danialik

The secret to noble posture isn't actually a secret at all: shoulders back, chin up, and pretend you're balancing a book on your head. No actual book necessary—though if you'd like to try, we recommend starting with something lighter than "War and Peace." The goal is to look dignified, not like you're practicing for an Olympic balancing event.

The Art of Sitting (Without Looking Like You're Melting)

Prince Abdul Mateen of Brunei.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Remember: chairs are thrones, not hammocks. Gentlemen, cross those legs if you fancy, but perhaps avoid the full lotus position during board meetings. Ladies, crossing ankles is classic—though we promise the nobility police won't arrest you for crossing your legs at the knee. The key is to look comfortable while appearing as though you could spring into action at any moment, should a royal decree need signing.

The Noble Exit (From Cars, Not Conversations)

Prince Carl Philip of Sweden.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Ah, the graceful car exit—a move that separates the nobles from the tumbling jesters. The process is simple: slide, swing, step, stand. Think less "action movie hero" and more "prince charming." And yes, this works whether you're emerging from a Rolls Royce or your friend's Tesla Model Y. Dignity knows no price point.

Dressing the Part (Without Bankrupting the Kingdom)

Fernando Fitz-James Stuart, 17th Duke of Huéscar.

Photo: Getty Images

Quality over quantity is the name of the game. A well-fitted wool blazer can make you look like "old money", even if your wallet is telling new poverty jokes. The goal is "timeless," not "time traveler from the 18th century." And remember: subtle jewelry is your friend—you want to sparkle, not blind passing aircraft.

Walking the Walk (The Famous "Glide")

The noble glide isn't about floating across the room like a ghost in a period drama. It's about moving with purpose, as if you know exactly where you're going (even if you're actually just looking for the bathroom). Think "confident cat" rather than "caffeinated squirrel."

Speaking the Speech

Yes, refined language has its place, but nobody needs to know you consulted a thesaurus to describe your morning coffee. "Delighted" instead of "happy" works wonderfully, but perhaps save "veritably ecstatic about this divine morning brew" for your novel.

The Fine Art of Table Manners

Handle your utensils like they're extensions of your fingers, not weapons you're about to launch across the room. And despite what you may have heard, the pinky doesn't need to achieve lift-off when you're drinking tea. The goal is sophistication, not signaling passing ships with your finger positions.

Confidence: Your Inner Crown

True confidence isn't about pretending you're better than everyone else—it's about being comfortable enough with yourself to not need the comparison. Think of it as wearing an invisible crown: you know it's there, but you don't need to adjust it every five minutes.

The Heart of the Matter

Here's the truth beneath the velvet cushions: being "bangsawan" isn't about perfection. It's about carrying yourself with grace, treating others with respect, and maintaining dignity even when your cape gets caught in the revolving door (metaphorically speaking, of course).

At the end of the day, true nobility is about the kindness you show to others, the grace with which you navigate life's trials, and the laughter you can share even when life insists on turning "Hello" into "Helicopter."

After all, while a sense of humor might not be embroidered into the fabric of etiquette, it is arguably the most enduring mark of class.

So, here’s a question to ponder: in a world that often prioritizes appearances over substance, how will you define your own brand of nobility?