04.04.2024

Wife Not Exactly Returning the Chivalry Vibes? Here's How to Be a Modern Day Knight Anyway

The best love stories are about the little things you do to show you care, not about waiting to be rescued.

By Raja Ezra

Picture: Prince Harry & Meghan Markle (credit: Getty)

Let's face it, chivalry can feel a bit like trying to dust off an old suit of armor these days. You want to be a good husband, open doors, the whole shebang, but your wife isn't exactly down with playing damsel in distress. So, how do you be a chivalrous gent in a marriage that feels more Netflix and chill than knights and dragons?

Ditch the Scorecard, Embrace the Small Stuff

Forget keeping tabs on who last opened the door or complimented whose outfit. Chivalry is more about making your wife's life a little less stressful, a little brighter. Think coffee in bed (without being asked!), offering to tackle that chore she hates, or just listening to her vent about work without offering solutions (sometimes a rant buddy is all that's needed). These everyday acts add up to a big ol' pile of "you're appreciated" points.

Figure Out Her Chivalry Love Language

Talk it out! Let your wife know you want to be more chivalrous, but be open to what that means for her. Maybe chivalry for her is taking on a mental load task, like researching that weekend getaway you both keep talking about. Or perhaps it's stepping in to play with the kids so she can have a quiet soak in the tub. Understanding her definition of "being cherished" is key to winning her heart, knight-in-shining-armor style.

Photo by iStock

Chivalry 2.0: It's Not About Jousting

Being a modern-day knight isn't about rescuing damsels from dragons (although slaying a particularly stubborn spider in the bathroom is a good start). Think respect, kindness, and sharing the load. Discuss what modern courtesies would make each other feel valued. Maybe it's offering to help with homework or letting her take the nap without guilt.

Lead by Chivalrous Example

Be the kind of partner you want her to see. Hold doors for strangers, be polite, and hype her up whenever you get the chance. When she sees chivalry as part of who you are, it might just inspire her to return the favor in her own way.

Patience is a Virtue (and Probably Armor)

Change takes time, especially in relationships. Don't get discouraged if she doesn't start acting like a princess overnight. Just keep showing your love and respect consistently. Eventually, your unwavering chivalry might just become contagious.

Bonus Tip: A Chivalrous Date Night

Plan a fun date night with a chivalrous twist! Pack a picnic basket (bonus points for making the sandwiches yourself) and head to the park for a romantic lunch. Or, channel your inner charming fella and surprise her with tickets to a classic movie and popcorn. A little nostalgia can go a long way in reminding her why she fell for you in the first place.

The key takeaway? Chivalry isn't about getting something back. It's about creating a partnership where you both feel respected and appreciated. By focusing on your actions and open communication, you can turn your marriage into a love story worthy of a ballad, even if it takes a little effort to rewrite the ending. After all, the best love stories are about the little things you do to show you care, not about waiting to be rescued.

Picture: Prince Harry & Meghan Markle (credit: Getty)

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