Picture: Alex Reviere and Christian Sieber (credit: @ariviere)
27.07.2023
The Art of Flirting: How to Express Interest and Create Connections
There are other forms of sexual intimacy than sex that can be just as significant and crucial in a relationship, which refers to any physical or emotional closeness connected to sexual attraction and desire.
Article contribution by Violet Lim, Co-Founder Lunch Actually Group
Picture: Alex Reviere and Christian Sieber (credit: @ariviere)
The CEO of the biggest lunch dating company, Lunch Actually, was surprised by the survey result stating that most singles in Malaysia don't let themselves have sexual intimacy with someone they barely know. Based on the Lunch Actually Annual Regional Singles Dating Survey in 2022, only 20% of singles are willing to have sexual intimacy within the first month or less, whereas 50% of singles prefer to have sexual intimacy when they're officially in an exclusive relationship and even 30% won't have one until they get married. The question follows: Do these numbers influence the 'marry later' trend in Malaysia? And singles choose to remain single longer compared to the 2000s.
Due to a fast-paced lifestyle, there needs to be more access to social circles, contributing to the rise of Malaysia's 'marry later' trend. They also have less opportunity to meet possible partners; when they do, they still determine what to do.
According to Violet Lim, sexual intimacy does not always mean engaging in sexual intercourse, but somehow people misunderstand. There are other forms of sexual intimacy than sex that can be just as significant and crucial in a relationship, which refers to any physical or emotional closeness connected to sexual attraction and desire. If we use it correctly, flirting can also be counted as a good form of intimacy. Indeed, some "Players" court to get into your pants. Thus, Violet reveals how to learn the difference between both!
● Harmless flirting
A playful teasing or non-invasive touch is considered harmless flirting, such as playfully tugging your arm or tapping your shoulders. You should flirt back if you're interested!
● Very touchy-feely
Feel free to distance yourself and your date if he is touchy-feely. For example, if you find while walking, he has his hand placed on your lower back for an uncomfortable period, step away from him so that you're not walking too close.
Similarly, for men, if a woman leans too close and you're not comfortable, you don't want to upset her by telling her to move back. Instead, you can move your seat slightly backward so that there's distance between the both of you. Letting someone know that they've overstepped their boundaries is very powerful!
Singles must learn to attract potential singles so they won't waste time trapped in a friend zone. Hence, Violet shares advice on how to flirt and attract someone without making them feel annoyed with your flirting moves:
Using body language - Use a more subdued approach to flirting by giving your partner your full attention while they're talking, smiling and nodding to show that you're interested in what they're saying, and responding appropriately so that you don't come off as overbearing but still a respectful partner.
Using Humour - It is proven that when you make someone laugh, they enjoy your company more! So some people would use humor when flirting, such as playful teasing or creating an inside joke between the both of you. This flirting is also very friendly and especially useful for testing waters, to see the other person's reaction and receptiveness towards you. Testing waters means you must find out if someone likes you and try to find out!
That's also why pickup lines have been around for so long! Even though some of them are cringe, it actually makes people laugh!
An example of using humor when flirting is, let's say you're out with a group of friends for a meal, and there's an empty seat beside the person you like. You go next to them and ask, "Did you leave this seat for me so that you can sit beside me during dinner?"
