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28.01.2025

Opinion: Is chivalry still relevant in the age of gender equality?

Explore the relevance of chivalry in modern relationships. As gender equality rises, how can men uphold timeless masculine virtues while adapting to evolving social dynamics? This thought-provoking article discusses the balance between traditional chivalry and contemporary values.

Words: Raja Izz

Ivanka Trump arrives with her family at President Donald Trump’s inauguration, White House.

Photo credit: Scott Olson/Getty Images


"It hides beneath the rose" - Da Vinci Code

 

I still remember watching the ending of Da Vinci Code, where Tom Hanks kneels like a knight before the tomb of Mary Magdalene, hidden beneath the Louvre, signaling his respect and honor to the significant lady. It was a mind-blowing scene. In that moment of reverence, we witnessed a powerful example of how respect transcends time, culture, and even religious boundaries. This "Arthurian legends like" scene captures the essence of what we're about to explore: the delicate balance between chivalrous and equality in our modern world.

Understanding the meaning of the cryptex clue, Langdon (Tom Hanks) is seen running to the Louvre. He runs straight to the Pyramide Inversée where he concludes the Holy Grail is. There, he kneels on it, standing right above the sarcophagus of Mary Magdalene hidden in a secret underground chamber.

 

Picture this: You're approaching a door with a colleague, coffee cups in both hands. Do you awkwardly shuffle to hold it open, or continue walking? Twenty years ago, the answer seemed simple. Today, that split-second decision carries more social weight than ever before. It's a small example of a larger question many of us face: How do we balance traditional courtesy with modern equality?

The Origins of Chivalry

To understand the relevance of chivalry today, one must first look to its origins. The term "chivalry" comes from the French word chevalier, meaning "knight." In the Middle Ages, knights were expected to uphold a code of ethics that emphasized bravery, loyalty, and the protection of the weak, particularly women and children.

Chivalry was not just about gallant gestures like opening doors or giving up seats—it was a societal expectation that shaped how men behaved, emphasizing their role as protectors and providers.

Think about your own daily interactions. Maybe you've held back from offering help to a female colleague struggling with heavy equipment, worried about appearing condescending. Or perhaps you've questioned whether offering your seat on a crowded train might be seen as suggesting someone needs special treatment. These moments of hesitation reflect our changing social landscape.

The Rise of the 4B Movements and New Masculinity

The rise of global movements for gender equality has transformed how we view these traditional gestures. Social media campaigns and workplace policies have rightfully emphasized treating everyone as capable equals. Yet many of us still feel pulled between showing courtesy and respecting independence. It's like trying to dance to two different songs at once – traditional values on one hand, progressive ideals on the other.

The New Code of Chivalry

But maybe we're overthinking it. What if modern chivalry isn't about gender at all, but about being fundamentally decent to everyone around us? Consider this: holding a door open for anyone – regardless of gender – simply because they're a few steps behind you. Or offering your seat to someone who looks tired, without assumptions about why they might need it. These actions come from a place of awareness and kindness, not outdated gender roles.

In professional settings, this becomes even more relevant. Instead of grand gestures, today's "gentleman" might be the colleague who ensures everyone gets heard in meetings, shares credit for team successes, and stands up against workplace discrimination. It's about creating an environment of mutual respect and support.

Conclusion: Chivalry’s Evolving Role

Modern gentlemanly behavior in 2025 is about being adaptable and thoughtful rather than following strict rules. Just like how we update our phones while keeping their core functions, today's courtesy keeps its foundation of respect but adapts to current social norms. Sometimes showing respect means helping out; other times it means respecting independence.

True courtesy has always been about treating others with dignity - that stays constant even as our world changes. It's less about specific actions like door-opening and more about genuine consideration for others in whatever form makes sense for the situation.

This core idea of respect remains as valuable now as ever - it just looks a bit different in practice than it did in the past.

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