14.09.2024

Escaping the status rat race: Lessons from Malaysian icons

Discover how two Malaysian icons—one a rising fashion influencer and the other is Malaysian power couple—found freedom from the relentless pursuit of status. Learn how to redefine success, stop comparing yourself to others, and create your own path to fulfillment.

By Raja Izz

Ali Gordon inside The Church's Factory (Photo by Ali Gordon)

In the bustling streets of Kuala Lumpur, I found myself on an unexpected journey of self-discovery and reflection. Two chance encounters with Malaysian style icon and Malaysian power couple opened my eyes to the intricacies of the status game and how one might escape its relentless pursuit. But to understand where we are, we must first look at where we've been.

The Evolution of Status: From Fixed to Liquid

For most of human history, status was a fixed concept. In settled agrarian communities spanning the last 10,000 years, strict hierarchies based on lineage, gender, and age determined one's place in society. There was no need to ask, "Who am I?" as limited social choices dictated both internal identity and external perception.

However, **we now live in an era of what we might call "Liquid Status." Today, status is malleable: your occupation, residence, and beliefs are largely up to you. Your position in society is more flexible than at any point in history. This newfound agency is both liberating and terrifying** - success can be attributed to your efforts, but failure becomes a personal responsibility.

The Celebrity Comparison

My first meeting was with one of Malaysian men fashion influencers, known for his trendsetting looks and collaborations with local designers. As we chit-chat at Suria KLCC, he confided, "I used to measure my success by comparing myself to celebrities. Every follower count, every brand deal - it was a constant race to match their status."

His words struck a chord. How often do we find ourselves caught in this trap, measuring our worth against those we perceive as more successful?

The "High Society" Perspective

Years later, I found myself in conversation with one of Malaysian power couples after the polo match at Taman Ekuestrian Putrajaya. With a quiet confidence, he shared, "There was a time when I thought true status meant being like *Prince Mateen of Brunei**. But I've learned that true fulfillment comes from a different place entirely*."

These contrasting perspectives led me to ponder: How can we extricate ourselves from this exhausting status rat race?

Gabrielle Caunesil and Riccardo Pozzoli (Photo: Getty)

The Impact of Social Media

The advent of social media has fundamentally changed how status works. Our brains, evolved for small groups of about 150 people, are now plugged into a global network of billions. This has amplified our tendency to compare ourselves to others, extending far beyond our immediate circle.

Social media has placed people on a 24/7 global status competition hamster wheel. While it offers more ways to gain recognition and community than ever before, it also constantly reminds us of how many people appear to be better, richer, and happier than we are.

Moreover, social media has exacerbated tribal warfare. Human being feel compelled to attack those who act against our tribe's values, experiencing visceral outrage on a daily basis. As one podcaster aptly put it, encountering someone with different political beliefs online can feel neurologically similar to encountering a bear in the forest.

Paths to Freedom

Given this complex landscape of status dynamics, how can we find our way out?

1. Differentiate Yourself The internet has created countless niches where one can excel and be recognized. Instead of competing in oversaturated arenas, find your unique space. As the saying goes, "The best way to avoid competition is to do something only you can do."

2. Commit to Your Tribe By dedicating yourself to a person, community, or group of friends, you create a support system that appreciates you for who you are. This commitment can alleviate the pressure to constantly "level up" or switch social circles.

3. The Paradox of Status Perhaps the ultimate trick is to stop thinking about status altogether. The moment we fixate on it, we've already lost the game.

A Malaysian Perspective

Reflecting on my encounters, I realized that both figures had found their peace by stepping off the treadmill of comparison. The influencer, who is now in his 40s, found joy in nurturing young local talents, while the power couple devoted themselves to family and healthy lifestyle.

Their stories remind us that true fulfillment often lies not in outpacing others, but in cultivating our unique gifts and using them to enrich our communities.

Conclusion: Redefining Success

As I reflect their insights, I carried with me a newfound appreciation for the diverse paths to contentment. Perhaps the real status symbol is the ability to define success on our own terms, rooted in authenticity and connection rather than external validation.

The challenge we face is not just to escape the status rat race, but to redefine the game entirely. By understanding the historical context of status, recognizing the impact of modern technologies on our social dynamics, and consciously choosing how we measure our worth, we can create a more fulfilling and less anxiety-ridden approach to life.

In the end, maybe the best way to win the status game is to refuse to play it at all - or better yet, to create our own game with rules that align with our values and contribute positively to our communities.

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Escaping the status rat race: Lessons from Malaysian icons

Discover how two Malaysian icons—one a rising fashion influencer and the other is Malaysian power couple—found freedom from the relentless pursuit of status. Learn how to redefine success, stop comparing yourself to others, and create your own path to fulfillment.

By Raja Izz

Ali Gordon inside The Church's Factory (Photo by Ali Gordon)

The Evolution of Status: From Fixed to Liquid

The Celebrity Comparison

His words struck a chord. How often do we find ourselves caught in this trap, measuring our worth against those we perceive as more successful?

The "High Society" Perspective

These contrasting perspectives led me to ponder: How can we extricate ourselves from this exhausting status rat race?

Gabrielle Caunesil and Riccardo Pozzoli (Photo: Getty)

The Impact of Social Media

The advent of social media has fundamentally changed how status works. Our brains, evolved for small groups of about 150 people, are now plugged into a global network of billions. This has amplified our tendency to compare ourselves to others, extending far beyond our immediate circle.

Social media has placed people on a 24/7 global status competition hamster wheel. While it offers more ways to gain recognition and community than ever before, it also constantly reminds us of how many people appear to be better, richer, and happier than we are.

Paths to Freedom

Given this complex landscape of status dynamics, how can we find our way out?

1. Differentiate Yourself The internet has created countless niches where one can excel and be recognized. Instead of competing in oversaturated arenas, find your unique space. As the saying goes, "The best way to avoid competition is to do something only you can do."

2. Commit to Your Tribe By dedicating yourself to a person, community, or group of friends, you create a support system that appreciates you for who you are. This commitment can alleviate the pressure to constantly "level up" or switch social circles.

3. The Paradox of Status Perhaps the ultimate trick is to stop thinking about status altogether. The moment we fixate on it, we've already lost the game.

A Malaysian Perspective

Reflecting on my encounters, I realized that both figures had found their peace by stepping off the treadmill of comparison. The influencer, who is now in his 40s, found joy in nurturing young local talents, while the power couple devoted themselves to family and healthy lifestyle.

Their stories remind us that true fulfillment often lies not in outpacing others, but in cultivating our unique gifts and using them to enrich our communities.

Conclusion: Redefining Success

As I reflect their insights, I carried with me a newfound appreciation for the diverse paths to contentment. Perhaps the real status symbol is the ability to define success on our own terms, rooted in authenticity and connection rather than external validation.

In the end, maybe the best way to win the status game is to refuse to play it at all - or better yet, to create our own game with rules that align with our values and contribute positively to our communities.

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