Why ‘Ballerina’ challenges the gentleman code in today’s era of gender equality

This gentleman concept about treating women soft and not beating women and trying to be nice to women is a bygone era that was relevant during our grandfather's time. You guys have to adapt to the changes and start reviewing your gentleman code of conduct. You can still honor us by accepting and adapt to this change. Please take a look at Ballerina. If men wants to apply the gentleman code, there won't be any fights in Ballerina.

Men would be thinking of all the archaic code that they can't hit a lady and get obliterated because of some code. Observe her training where she fought male fighters in a 1 on 1 bout. He treated her like an equal as if he was fighting a man. This gender discrimination is no longer applicable in many places but you guys are still living in a bubble with an 11th century old code of conduct.

Me and my husband, we don't segregate duties. We split them fair and square. Today I would clean the laundry, tomorrow he does it. I would iron the clothes today, he would do so tomorrow. I cook but I told him he needs to cook so we take turns every alternate days. Certain things we don't segregate like money. He is a man so he has to pay for all. That is a man's responsibility. He has to find ways to search for money because he is the leader. But pretty much everything else, we split the responsibility. He doesn't call me sayang, baby and what not. He calls me by name and I call him by name.

The women of today prefer addressing by names rather than those typical endearments like baby honey and sweetie. It makes women feel weak and vulnerable.

So GC, before you want to go all defensive, go take a look Ballerina and then form your opinion before you respond to this mail. I hope this feedback isn't too long.

Thanks for reading.

Azy

Answer by The Gentleman:

Hi Azy,

Thank you for your thoughtful message, and for taking the time to share such a vivid reflection, not only on Ballerina but on what it means to be a woman in today’s world. Your passion is refreshing, and your conviction is something we deeply respect.

You’ll be glad to know that several of us at GC have also watched Ballerina. We admired its bold choreography, the haunting grace of its lead, and the echoes of John Wick’s code: rooted in grief and justice. And yes, the scene you referred to, where she faces off with male fighters as an equal, was not just striking, it was symbolic.

We wholeheartedly agree with you on one key point: as society evolves, so must the modern man. At GC, we do not see ourselves as defenders of outdated ideals, but rather as custodians of timeless values. And among those, the principle of honoring women remains unshaken.

You’ve rightly observed that in Ballerina, a female warrior was treated as an equal in combat. But we humbly suggest this: context is everything. In the ring, on the battlefield, or within the rules of a martial code—physical engagement is part of the ritual. Much like gentlemen sports like fencing, boxing, or polo, it is not about violence, but etiquette. Respect is shown not by withholding a strike, but by offering one as you would to an equal—because she has earned her place there.

Where we continue to hold the line, however, is outside the ring. The code we uphold at Gentleman's Code—to never raise a hand to a lady—is because we believe men must protect and strive to treat her like a princess. That restraint, we feel, is part of the gentleman’s burden.

We appreciate you sharing how you and your husband navigate life—splitting chores, calling each other by name, choosing mutual respect over sugary endearments. That’s real partnership. And it’s encouraging to hear of couples building equality not just in ideology, but in practice. We believe this too is part of the evolving gentleman’s journey moving forward.

Still, there’s a quiet truth we hold onto at GC: equality does not require sameness, and respect does not erase difference. Men and women are not opponents in life, but complements. The dance between strength and softness, duty and choice, is what gives our world its rhythm. Even as gender roles evolve, the essence of masculinity and femininity continues to serve a mysterious, complementary order in this world — one that may not always be symmetrical, but is deeply meaningful.

Thank you again, Azy, for challenging us to think deeply, and for doing so with such sincerity. We welcome more voices like yours—because a gentleman doesn’t just defend a code. He listens, learns, and adapts with grace. And though he may stumble, he rises each time with deeper wisdom—becoming, not a perfect man, but a better one.

With respect,

The Gent

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