11.12.2025

Rethinking western culture, Malay identity, and elite worship

Exploring the tension between imported Western gentleman culture and authentic Malay identity.

Photo illustration: Ian Fleming.

 

GC,

I want to address something that has been on my mind.

The concept of the “gentleman” originates from 13th-century England. What relevance does this culture have for Malays today? Why should Malays aspire to adopt a culture rooted in medieval English norms, especially when our own teachings already emphasize moral conduct, justice, and respect for others? We have a rich religious and cultural framework, yet there seems to be a persistent drive to emulate Western ideals.

The deeper problem is that Malays often lack a distinct cultural identity. Our religion instructs us to observe modesty and adhere to moral boundaries, yet we sometimes choose to overlook these teachings. By continually promoting someone else’s culture as aspirational, we risk eroding our own. This contributes to the diminishing of Malay culture and raises questions about the depth of our adherence to the traditional values. In this context, GC bears a significant part of that responsibility. A simple look at the site prompts the question: is this truly how a Malay should aspire to transform themselves?

Another concern is the platform’s disproportionate emphasis on the wealthy and powerful. While there is nothing inherently wrong with acknowledging success, the focus on royalty and elites borders on glorification. This mirrors a broader societal pattern: the pursuit of wealth, status, and elitism. I think the current presentation of leans heavily on style with limited substantive content. It risks becoming a site that venerates fame over meaningful contribution.

We must ask: what have these elites actually accomplished for society? What tangible contributions do royal descendants make? From a public perspective, we fund them through our taxes, yet platforms like GC seem content to offer them admiration in return.

I will not elaborate further, as I do not wish to waste time trying to educate the platform. The point is clear: this is not reflective of Malay culture. A better approach would be to engage with Malays in everyday life, observe their values, and let those insights guide the transformation of the platform.

 

Iskandar

Answer by The Gent:

Dear Iskandar,

Thank you for writing to us. Truly.

Your words carry weight, and we've read your letter several times now. Not to craft a clever response, but because you've touched on something we think about often, late at night when the work is done and we are left with our own questions about what we're building here.

You ask: what does 13th-century English gentleman culture have to do with Malays? It's a fair question, and one that deserves more than a defensive answer. But let us gently challenge the premise. The concept of being genteel - of politeness, refinement, and respectability - isn't solely British. These are universal values that transcend race and religion. They exist in Confucian Junzi, in Javanese Gentry, in the custom of traditional Malay Kings. We've covered these extensively across our platform, not as foreign imports, but as timeless principles that belong to humanity.

Let us share another thought with you. Constantinople belonged to the Greek and Romans for a thousand years - what did it have to do with the Muslim expansion? Yet when Sultan Mehmed II fulfilled the Prophet's vision and took that great city, he didn't merely conquer - he transformed it into one of the the world's greatest cities while honoring its Byzantine legacy and achievements. He saw beauty in what came before and elevated it through vision.

This is what we hope for at GC - uphold universal values of manhood that go beyond race, nationality, and cultural background - though we'll be honest with you. Some days we fall short. We're not asking Malays to abandon who they are for some foreign ideal. We're reaching for something deeper: universal principles - a code - of refinement and elegance that exist across cultures.

You write that we have "too much style with little to no substance." Here, Iskandar, we must respectfully disagree. If you've truly explored our site, you'll find we've over the years produced extensive content on culture, chivalry, etiquette, and refined living - subjects with deep substance. But yes, we anchor it all in beauty. And we make no apology for that. Beauty isn't superficial when it's pursued with intention.

Let us also be honest with you about something important: we don't aim to transform Malays specifically, or any single race for that matter. As stated in our About GC page, we serve a diverse readership - roughly 70% of whom are international, from across Asia and beyond, all hungry for content that speaks to timeless values and male excellence. We're trying to honor that trust while staying true to our Malaysian roots. It's a balance we navigate daily.

Does this mean we've neglected our responsibility to the Malay community? Your letter suggests we might have. We've published pieces celebrating our national identity: Merdeka Heroes, Merdeka 118, Tunku Abdul Rahman (search on our website). Perhaps these stories got lost in the noise. Perhaps we haven't told them loudly enough or often enough. Your frustration makes us think we need to do better at balancing our global reach with our local soul.

You challenge us on featuring the wealthy and powerful, asking what royal descendants have contributed. But have you noticed that we don't fill our pages with politicians or new-wealth? Let us ask you something in return, not to deflect but to explore: what has our first Prime Minister done? Tunku Abdul Rahman was himself a royal descendant. Did his royal blood diminish the miracle of Merdeka? Or does it show us that greatness can emerge from any station when paired with character and purpose?

And here's something we hope you'll consider: as GC becomes a thought leader of men's luxury and culture across Asia, isn't there something beautiful about a small nation like Malaysia owning this narrative on male refinement? Shouldn't we feel pride that the world is paying their attention to us, learning from us?

We'd like to invite you for coffee. Not to defend ourselves or change your mind, but simply to listen. You clearly care deeply about our culture, our faith, our people. That passion is rare and valuable. Perhaps in conversation, we might learn from each other. Perhaps there's wisdom waiting in the space between our different perspectives.

We know this reply probably won't change your opinion or feeling towards our editorial leadership, and that's okay. But we want you to know that your frustration hasn't fallen on deaf ears. You've given us your time, your honesty, and your concern for our community. That's a gift, even when it's wrapped in criticism.

We will continue to serve readers across continents while staying rooted in who we are. To honor identity while embracing what's universal. Some days better than others. But we're trying to build something meaningful, something that honors where we come from while dreaming of where we might go.

We hope our paths cross someday.

 

With gratitude and respect,

The Gent

 

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Gentlemen's Code has your back! We're thrilled to announce our brand new section on our website: "Ask the Gentleman." Submit your burning questions on all things refined living, health & fitness, relationships, culture, style, and etiquette by emailing editor@gentlemanscodes.com.

Please note:

1. We no longer accept letters on divorce issues.

2. We do not entertain unconstructive correspondence, race and religion topics, or hate speech.

3. If you are writing on behalf of an institution, organisation, or formal body and wish to submit a letter to GC, we kindly request that you provide reasonable proof of your affiliation or existence. This helps us maintain the integrity of all correspondence.

4. We reserve the right to adjust the tone or language of any published letter- without altering its core content or context - to ensure that the standards of tact, respect, and public discourse are upheld.

Thank you for your understanding.

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