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18.04.2024

Man unhappy with marriage experiences proposes etiquette column for women

Man proposes etiquette column for women, blames feminism for bad dates and marriages.

Picture: Boggi Milano

Man proposes etiquette column for women, blames feminism for bad dates and marriages.

 

Question from Mr. S (real name is undisclosed):

Dear GC editor / Founder,

I am trying to share this idea with you with regards to having something on women because I think generally they need way more refinement than we men do. Why do I say so? Based on my experience. I have dated many women in the past, most of them beautiful but many of these women come with an attitude. They know they have the physical body and the looks so they know they can get any guy in the world, and if you don't meet what they want, they threaten to leave. 

Just to share with you, I recently got divorced after a 3 year marriage because of financial constraints. Not because I couldn't manage my finances but I couldn't manage my ex wife who loves to spend excessively. When I can't give what she wants, she yells and starts threatening to leave. I expected her to say things like,"ok honey let's try to save this month and stay indoors. I will cook for you so we can save a little". That's the maturity level I expected from her but sadly I didn't get any of that except constant bickering and yelling which I just can no longer tolerate. Is this the attitude we men really want in a woman? Is money what they all see? Don't they feel how we feel? Money doesn't grow on trees. You have to manage it with discipline.

Prior to my marriage, I dated another beautiful girl which only lasted for a year because she had temper issues. She gets triggered over little things like when I look at my phone, she accuses me of looking at another girl's photo even though I wasn't. I told her I was looking at at the market or reading the news, yet she refused to believe me and continued her baseless accusation and started yelling. She simply needed anger management therapy.

I can go on and on with my other former dates which I had terrible experiences with. Beautiful with an attitude. Zero on their brains despite having an honors degree / masters degree from a UK or US university. Their way of thinking simply didn't connect with their educational background.  

Shouldn't a lady be graceful and feminine? 

Another huge difference between women today is their voice. I am sure you would agree with me that they no longer have the trait of being pleasant to the ears which is an important aspect of being a lady. They can't control their decibel level. Honestly, ALL of the women I have dated (including my ex wife), they are a LOUDMOUTH.  They speak like they are shrieking. The moment they get angry, their LOUDMOUTH goes even higher. Sometimes they get loudmouths when they gather with their peers because they are all are - just loudmouths, totally oblivious to their bfs or husbands around. I have tried to tell them to speak softly and more gracefully but it has never worked. It would work temporarily but they would go back to their usual self again. 

Etiquette is another prime example. Many girls today just can't sit properly. They don't cross their feet at their ankles anymore like they used to in the 60's or 50's which was a noble way to sit. But they no longer find that as noble. Ask a girl if they know what is a side-saddle position or a Cambridge cross or a Sussex Slant, they will not know because these are sitting etiquettes that are no longer embraced by the public except those within the elite society. The lady of today would probably sit with their legs tucked under the seat or with their knees so apart you can even see their crotch. Some even with one leg on the chair. Gone are the days of a "Sit Like A Lady" Etiquette.

You can also notice a strong trend that women today tend to not have a baby because they want to maintain their body and looks. They want to have fun in life. The olden days, it was considered a taboo not to have children but in today's society, they claim children are hard work. I would not be surprised if one day, the number of couples without children will overtake the number of couples with, because that would solidify that more women are choosing not to have kids. What happens to the bloodline then? How do we pass down our inheritance to the next generation when women are slowly refusing to enter motherhood? Why is the number of people who want to be single getting high? 

I think your site should seriously expand to include the etiquette of women and to educate them on being a real lady because  what we men are dealing with today is modern day feminism. Women are vastly different today than they were before. They see men as not someone they can depend on but more of a competitor. If we can't meet their demands, they will walk out that door. Simple as that. The idea of romance is long gone. They no longer believe the principle of love which also means to withstand and to suffer. They stick with you because you have something tangible that they want. I even have had break ups because the girl did not want to stay in an apartment if we were married. She wanted a double story house which I told her to F*ck off, and she was someone I knew for 4 years. You might  think you might know a person but you clearly don't. 

It's quite a dangerous evolution for women which is exactly why we need a column to talk about women more than men because it's not the men who are seriously lacking in class, it's the women.

Apologies for the rant above, appreciate you reading this but I am just trying to make a point that it is time to put up an article about how women should polish themselves and look back at how they were before.

Answer by The Gentleman:

Hey there, Mr. S!

Thanks for reaching out and sharing your idea. It sounds like you've dealt with some very challenging situations in your dating and marriage life, and that's something we can definitely understand.

However, the way you've presented your email relies on generalizations about women that don't paint an entirely accurate picture. At GC, our focus is on self-improvement on men, and that goes for fostering connections and happy relationship with both men and women.

Here's an alternative way to approach this: effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you're consistently encountering partners who prioritize money or looks over emotional connection, it might be worth considering how you're initially connecting with potential partners.

Instead of focusing on changing women, we could offer articles that empower men to:

1. Develop stronger communication skills to clearly express their needs and wants in a relationship.

2. Identify healthy dating habits and red flags that can signal potential incompatibility early on.

3. Build strong, respectful relationships with women who share their values and priorities.

These are all topics that could be incredibly valuable to our readers, helping them navigate the complexities of dating and build fulfilling connections.

As for etiquette, manners are something everyone, regardless of gender, can benefit from. We already cover topics like table manners and social graces that apply universally.

Perhaps you'd be interested in reading some of our existing articles on these topics? Maybe they could spark a different angle for your idea, one that focuses on fostering positive interactions between men and women.

We appreciate you reaching out, and we're always open to reader suggestions.


Gentlemen's Code has your back! We're thrilled to announce our brand new section on our website: "Ask the Gentleman". Submit your burning questions on all things relationships, culture, style, and etiquette by emailing to: editor@gentlemanscodes.com.

Our experts are here to guide you on your path to becoming a true gentleman.

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