29.04.2025

Is JFK a gentleman? A reader challenges the legacy through the lens of chivalry

A former college debater and GC reader, Puteri Ayuni, questions the portrayal of John F. Kennedy as a gentleman in GC, citing historical scandals and violations of chivalric values in a compelling open letter.

Caroline Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, and Jacqueline Kennedy.

Getty Images.

Letter from Puteri Ayuni,

Good afternoon to distinguished GC members and staff,

Puteri Ayuni here writing to you for some enlightenment and healthy discussions. I love a good debate as I am was formally a debater in college.

Recently, I checked out GC's official web site and have noticed that there are an abundance of references and nods to the late John F Kennedy. As a Malaysian publication, it is a rare sight to find such reference, especially to a President of the United States.

ChatGPT's definition of a gentleman is as follows:

"A Person who behaves with respect toward others—especially toward women"?

And calling someone a "gentleman" was a way for women to acknowledge that behavior exists in a man.

If that statement is right, how does JFK in GC's assessment fit that criteria?

I acknowledge he was a former president but his legacy was marred with scandals. If you read the long list of women he has cheated on, the word gentleman wouldn't come to mind but instead his actions would call him a prolific philanderer.

He didn't just cheat with 1 girl but more than 10 girls while he was married to Jacqueline and one of the girls he cheated on (with whom he had sex) was with a white house intern of just 19 years old.

After reading that, please enlighten me how he is still considered a gentleman? Based from chatGPT, a woman can acknowledge whether a man is a gentleman. But after reading his scandal histories, any woman would immediately rule him out as a gentleman because his affairs were akin to a sick deranged monster, please don't mind my language.

What do this men have? Cheating. Disloyalty. unfaithful. These men have violated at least 7 / 36 of the codes of chivalry which I highlight (underline and bold)

Live to serve King and Country.

Live to defend Crown and Country and all it holds dear.

Live one's life so that it is worthy of respect and honor.

Live for freedom, justice and all that is good.

Never attack an unarmed foe.

Never use a weapon on an opponent not equal to the attack.

Never attack from behind.

Avoid lying to your fellow man.

Avoid cheating. <<- their affairs with many women is an act of cheating.

Avoid torture.

Obey the law of king, country, and chivalry.

Administer justice.

Protect the innocent.

Exhibit self-control.

Show respect to authority.

Respect women. <<- their affairs show that they don't respect women.

Exhibit Courage in word and deed.

Defend the weak and innocent.

Destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms.

Crush the monsters that steal our land and rob our people.

Fight with honor.

Avenge the wronged.

Never abandon a friend, ally, or noble cause.

Fight for the ideals of king, country, and chivalry.

Die with valor.

Always keep one's word of honor. <<- having an affair means they violated their word of honor to the women

Always maintain one's principles. << - An affair means these men have no principles.

Never betray a confidence or comrade.

Avoid deception. << cheating means deceiving your partner.

Respect life and freedom.

Die with honor.

Exhibit manners. <<- You have no manners when you cheat.

Be polite and attentive.

Be respectful of host, women, and honor. << the code talks about respecting women. Cheating is not a sign of respect.

Loyalty to country, King, honor, freedom, and the code of chivalry.

Loyalty to one's friends and those who lay their trust in thee.

Maybe GC can help clarify its unwavering support toward these man, and why are they still featured and mentioned in your publication?

Apologies for the lengthy email but I just want to proof my point here.

Thank you.

Answer by The Gentleman:

Good afternoon Puteri Ayuni,

Thank you for your kind, inquisitive, and deeply respectful email. It is always a pleasure to receive correspondence that reflects both intellectual curiosity and refined decorum - qualities we at GC hold in the highest regard.

John F. Kennedy (JFK), despite his human flaws, continues to be rated highly in the public imagination of American readers. According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, he remains among the top three most admired U.S. Presidents for his charisma, visionary ideals, and enduring legacy.

At GC, we examine individuals not as perfect beings , but as carriers of certain ideals and values. JFK, a great man with great flaws, for example, offers meaningful glimpses into a reluctant politician, who is single-minded in achieving a world peace. A statesman who sought to withdraw from the Vietnam War, defuse the Nuclear War with Russia through diplomacy rather than conflict, and delay Israel’s nuclear ambitions for the sake of regional stability. Was he perfect? Certainly not. But nobody is. And perhaps that’s the point.

Your reference to ChatGPT as a source of gentlemanly curation is also quite timely. In Q1 of 2025, ChatGPT ranked Prince Charles - now HRH King Charles III - as the most chivalrous man in the world (as we noted as a source of our article here:

https://gentlemanscodes.com/chivalry/the-gentleman%E2%80%99s-chivalry-index-q1-2025).

A controversial choice to some, no doubt. A man who erred, who caused pain, especially in his relationship with the late Princess Diana. But our approach is not to whitewash flaws, but to elevate what is best in a man - his discipline, sense of duty, and devotion to tradition. These are distinct, admirable qualities that can inspire our community and our readers - not because they are without fault, but because they persist despite the burden of being a man.

Thank you once again, Puteri, for engaging so thoughtfully. We welcome these kinds of conversations, and we personally look forward to collaborating with you further. Your voice - grounded, respectful, and intellectually sharp - is one we would be honoured to feature more often.

"If you look into the best qualities in others, you are actually looking into the best qualities of yourself"

Warmest Regards,
The Gentleman

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1. We no longer accept letters on marital or divorce issues.

2. We do not entertain unconstructive correspondence or hate speech.

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Is JFK a gentleman? A reader challenges the legacy through the lens of chivalry

A former college debater and GC reader, Puteri Ayuni, questions the portrayal of John F. Kennedy as a gentleman in GC, citing historical scandals and violations of chivalric values in a compelling open letter.

Caroline Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, and Jacqueline Kennedy.

Getty Images.

Letter from Puteri Ayuni,

Good afternoon to distinguished GC members and staff,

Puteri Ayuni here writing to you for some enlightenment and healthy discussions. I love a good debate as I am was formally a debater in college.

Recently, I checked out GC's official web site and have noticed that there are an abundance of references and nods to the late John F Kennedy. As a Malaysian publication, it is a rare sight to find such reference, especially to a President of the United States.

ChatGPT's definition of a gentleman is as follows:

"A Person who behaves with respect toward others—especially toward women"?

And calling someone a "gentleman" was a way for women to acknowledge that behavior exists in a man.

If that statement is right, how does JFK in GC's assessment fit that criteria?

I acknowledge he was a former president but his legacy was marred with scandals. If you read the long list of women he has cheated on, the word gentleman wouldn't come to mind but instead his actions would call him a prolific philanderer.

He didn't just cheat with 1 girl but more than 10 girls while he was married to Jacqueline and one of the girls he cheated on (with whom he had sex) was with a white house intern of just 19 years old.

What do this men have? Cheating. Disloyalty. unfaithful. These men have violated at least 7 / 36 of the codes of chivalry which I highlight (underline and bold)

Live to serve King and Country.

Live to defend Crown and Country and all it holds dear.

Live one's life so that it is worthy of respect and honor.

Live for freedom, justice and all that is good.

Never attack an unarmed foe.

Never use a weapon on an opponent not equal to the attack.

Never attack from behind.

Avoid lying to your fellow man.

Avoid cheating. <<- their affairs with many women is an act of cheating.

Avoid torture.

Obey the law of king, country, and chivalry.

Administer justice.

Protect the innocent.

Exhibit self-control.

Show respect to authority.

Respect women. <<- their affairs show that they don't respect women.

Exhibit Courage in word and deed.

Defend the weak and innocent.

Destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms.

Crush the monsters that steal our land and rob our people.

Fight with honor.

Avenge the wronged.

Never abandon a friend, ally, or noble cause.

Fight for the ideals of king, country, and chivalry.

Die with valor.

Always keep one's word of honor. <<- having an affair means they violated their word of honor to the women

Always maintain one's principles. << - An affair means these men have no principles.

Never betray a confidence or comrade.

Avoid deception. << cheating means deceiving your partner.

Respect life and freedom.

Die with honor.

Exhibit manners. <<- You have no manners when you cheat.

Be polite and attentive.

Be respectful of host, women, and honor. << the code talks about respecting women. Cheating is not a sign of respect.

Loyalty to country, King, honor, freedom, and the code of chivalry.

Loyalty to one's friends and those who lay their trust in thee.

Maybe GC can help clarify its unwavering support toward these man, and why are they still featured and mentioned in your publication?

Apologies for the lengthy email but I just want to proof my point here.

Thank you.

Answer by The Gentleman:

Good afternoon Puteri Ayuni,

Thank you for your kind, inquisitive, and deeply respectful email. It is always a pleasure to receive correspondence that reflects both intellectual curiosity and refined decorum - qualities we at GC hold in the highest regard.

John F. Kennedy (JFK), despite his human flaws, continues to be rated highly in the public imagination of American readers. According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, he remains among the top three most admired U.S. Presidents for his charisma, visionary ideals, and enduring legacy.

Your reference to ChatGPT as a source of gentlemanly curation is also quite timely. In Q1 of 2025, ChatGPT ranked Prince Charles - now HRH King Charles III - as the most chivalrous man in the world (as we noted as a source of our article here:

https://gentlemanscodes.com/chivalry/the-gentleman%E2%80%99s-chivalry-index-q1-2025).

Thank you once again, Puteri, for engaging so thoughtfully. We welcome these kinds of conversations, and we personally look forward to collaborating with you further. Your voice - grounded, respectful, and intellectually sharp - is one we would be honoured to feature more often.

"If you look into the best qualities in others, you are actually looking into the best qualities of yourself"

Warmest Regards,The Gentleman

RELATED READING: Chivalry isn’t about opening doors, but elevating society in its hour of maximum danger

Gentlemen's Code has your back! We're thrilled to announce our brand new section on our website: "Ask the Gentleman." Submit your burning questions on all things refined living, health & fitness, relationships, culture, style, and etiquette by emailing editor@gentlemanscodes.com.

Please note:

1. We no longer accept letters on marital or divorce issues.

2. We do not entertain unconstructive correspondence or hate speech.

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Warmest Regards,
The Gentleman