22.07.2025

Is GC too elite for the everyday man?

A candid letter from a loyal reader questions whether GC is only for the wealthy and well-connected, highlighting class gaps, luxury culture, and the realities of social mobility in Malaysia.

Photo credit: Carlos Sainz Jr.

 

Dear GC,

May I know, what is your definition of elite?
If you look it up in the dictionary, it usually refers to people who are considered superior- those with the most wealth, highest positions, or greatest influence in society.

When I go through your content, it gives me the vibe that GC is curated for the upper class. You need to hit a certain level of threshold just to fully appreciate the world GC represents. For people like me - the marhaen - that level can take decades to reach, if at all.

Many of the personalities featured on your site have had wealth and privilege passed down through generations. Their role is to build upon a foundation already laid by their ancestors. The rest of us? We’re still trying to build from the ground up.

Take, for example, a prince who received a royal title before he could even ride a bicycle. At the age of five, he was already conferred a hereditary honor. For an ordinary rakyat marhaen, such a path is practically impossible. It’s not just about merit or hard work - it’s about birthright.

It’s the same story with elite education. Eton College, for example, is widely known as a school for gentleman, for the children of the wealthy and the well-connected. Even if you achieve straight As and ace every test, there’s no guarantee you’ll get in - unless, of course, you’re the child of someone with status or influence. My cousin tried. He excelled in his studies, passed the entrance exams, and still didn’t make the cut. But if you’re the son of an Eton alumnus or someone famous, your odds skyrocket. Is it fair? Of course not - but that’s the way the world works.

Power and honorary title (e.g. Raja, Tengku, Datuk) commands respect - not just in Malaysia, but everywhere. Some call it privilege. Others just call it reality. The higher your status, the more people will respect you - or fear you - because you hold the advantage of power.

So, the truth is, in my view, GC feels like a space meant for a certain caliber. It’s not for me. I scroll through your pages and realize I can’t afford most of what’s featured. I don’t even have friends who are royals or elites. My friends and I usually hang out at Mahbub, ordering roti canai and teh tarik while catching football matches until 2 am. That’s our version of luxury.

I can’t afford orchestra tickets at Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra - the price keeps going up every year. And as for the women featured on GC - well, let’s be honest, they’re all stunning, sophisticated, and clearly from a different world. You can tell from the photos: these are not ordinary encounters. This is on another level.

My last fine dining experience was four years ago with an ex-fiancée who insisted on it weekly - probably because it wasn’t coming from her own wallet. I can’t even afford a regular girlfriend these days, let alone someone living the luxury lifestyle featured on GC.

Maybe women naturally love the idea of GC - because in that world, they get treated to luxury without ever having to pay the price. But for someone like me, it’s just not a world I can enter.

Still, I wish you and GC continued success.

Warm regards,
Farhan

Answer by The Gent:

Dear Farhan,

Thank you for writing to us with such honesty and depth. We value this kind of dialogue - it forces us to reflect on who we are and why we exist.

You mentioned something that many think but few say aloud: that GC seems to be a space for the privileged. We understand why it feels that way. Luxury brands, fine dining, bespoke tailoring, the social circles of elites -these are often seen as unattainable for the marhaen trying to make ends meet. And you’re right - some of the individuals featured have inherited legacies that place them in positions few can reach by merit alone.

But here's the heart of the matter: we’re not here to celebrate privilege for privilege’s sake. We're here to remind ourselves and those who have it that status is meaningless without duty. We exist to whisper (sometimes loudly) in the ears of the powerful: “With nobility comes greater responsibility.”

And about the beautiful women at GC events - yes, we notice them too. We’re men, after all. But beauty, in our view, isn't about objectification. It's about elegance, and the cultural role femininity plays in refinement. As friends, we can admit it’s part of the charm of our gatherings, but it must always be coupled with dignity. "On another level,” as you said, but also no exploitation.

Why We Still Talk About Elites

You asked, “Why focus on elites when inequality is real?”

That’s a fair question. But the truth is - elites will always exist. The real question is what kind of elites our nation (and world) produced and what kind of elites we highlight.

We need what sociologists call representative characters - people who don’t just enjoy life’s luxuries but carry the burden of shaping the nation’s values. These are the movers and shakers who perceive ideals, virtues, and cultural principles, and translate them into real programs of life and culture.

They serve as leaven for society, setting the tone, uplifting the standard, and moving communities toward excellence. As Ludwig von Mises wrote:

“Mankind would never have reached the present state of civilization without heroism and self-sacrifice on the part of an elite.”

But here’s where many get it wrong: elites aren’t just the rich or born with titles.

They exist in every circle - the teacher who stays late after school, the small business owner who treats his staff like family, the kampung imam who holds his community together during hard times. They don’t need fat bank accounts. They need vision, courage, and the willingness to serve.

At GC, our goal is to highlight refinement, elegance and cultural excellence - not because we want to flex, but because these values are close to the gentry's heart, and are supposed to inspire everyone to level up, in whatever way they can.

Not Everything We Feature is Out of Reach

It might surprise you, but some of the events we feature are actually open to the public - classical concerts at Auditorium Kuala Lumpur, art gallery openings, polo matches. Often, the real ticket price is just a willingness to dress the part, show respect for the setting, and embrace the cultural experience. The barrier isn’t always money; sometimes it’s the mental hurdle of thinking, “That’s not for me.”

But it can be.

We’re not saying everyone must love fine dining or luxury watches. But everyone should aspire to refinement, however that looks for them. That could mean reading more, dressing sharper, mentoring younger guys, or contributing to the community in small but meaningful ways.

Building the Society We Deserve

Malaysia doesn’t just need wealthy people - it needs true elites representatives again. Leaders who understand that class is not about wealth; it’s about how you treat those who can’t do anything for you. It’s about contribution, not consumption.

We at GC need to do a better job telling those stories too - the schoolteacher with impeccable manners, the community leader quietly serving his neighborhood, the young professional choosing integrity over shortcuts.

Thank you for reminding us of that. Thank you for holding us accountable. And thank you - seriously - for trusting us enough to share your thoughts so honestly.

Let’s keep this conversation going. Malaysia needs it. The world needs it. And we value it more than any gala or black-tie event.

With respect,
The Gent

 

RELATED: Why Society Needs to Cultivate a True Elite Class

 

Gentlemen's Code has your back! We're thrilled to announce our brand new section on our website: "Ask the Gentleman." Submit your burning questions on all things refined living, health & fitness, relationships, culture, style, and etiquette by emailing editor@gentlemanscodes.com.

Please note:

1. We no longer accept letters on marital or divorce issues.

2. We do not entertain unconstructive correspondence, race and religion topics, or hate speech.

3. If you are writing on behalf of an institution, organisation, or formal body and wish to submit a letter to GC, we kindly request that you provide reasonable proof of your affiliation or existence. This helps us maintain the integrity of all correspondence.

4. We reserve the right to adjust the tone or language of any published letter- without altering its core content or context - to ensure that the standards of tact, respect, and public discourse are upheld.

Thank you for your understanding.

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