How a forgotten TikTok account destroyed my marriage

A.I. 

Letter from Zhy.

Hello GC,

The name is Zhy and something I would love to share to you guys out there on the danger of social media and how it has impacted my life. 

I was once a pretty social guy who loves to chill at clubs, you can name any club, Zouk, Kyo, et cetera. ex girlfriends were all sexy ladies. I have a Tik Tok with to show me and my girlfriends dancing and smoking. I was never a bad boy but I liked to hang out at clubs after work.

That life was 5 years ago. Now I have completely changed. I no longer update my Tik Tok since 5 years ago. I just left my Tik Tok without deactivating it because I wanted to look back at all that silly things I did to remind me of how immature I was...because as I get older I became more self aware. I am 35. I got married last year at the age of 34 with a decent chinese girl who works 9-5 and earns a decent salary. 

February 14 (valentine day) was the date I would never forget as it was my judgement day. I was at Marini 57 KLCC to celebrate our first Valentine as husband and wife. We had just received our food and we were having a great time chatting like what a normal couple would do. Then, her phone vibrated. It was a notification that said Zhy is on Tik Tok. So she asked me about it. I had forgotten all about my Tik Tok because I had never updated it for 5 years. That was where I suddenly felt nervous because I knew my Tik Tok content had all my ex girlfriends and my whereabouts at night clubs. I had never told my wife about my old life because it was a past I don't want to talk anymore. 

But now she found out....because of a sudden Tik Tok notification. 

What happened after that was one of the most embarrassing moments in my entire life. She began to raise her voice while raising her hp to me with my Tik Tok. I told her that was my old life which was 5 years ago. I am no longer that social. She refused to believe me. She thought I had kept it a secret from her. I told her it was a life I don't want to talk about because it was 5 years ago. I don't want to relive my past. She still wouldn't believe me. That was where she slammed her fist at the table and gave me the middle finger. She kept cursing at me while calling me terrible names like fucking playboy, fucking pervert, fucking shit, She then stormed out of the restaurant while everybody was looking.

Bro, it was humiliating. I don't know if anyone caught it on video which I hope nobody did but it was terrible. I felt like fighting back with her because she just humiliated me over something which she was never a part of, it was just an old life which I don't want to revisit anymore. 

She locked me out of my own house and I had to sleep in the car for 2 days. I had to bug friends for me to shower and to borrow clothes. The 3rd day I left back to Melaka (i am from melaka) to my parents house because I can't be doing like this. She texted me on the 4th day demanding for a divorce and insisting for one. Nothing would change her mind. I immediately agreed to it because I did not expect for her to leave me out in the streets with no home, no clothes, no shower. Doesn't she have any compassion? where is her caring? And all this, over a Tik Tok life which I no longer pursue?? This is too much.

If we men are accused of being emotionless, what she is displaying is far worse, leaving your own husband locked from his own house for days without a shelter, without clothes, without water. That was what made me rethink of having a life with her. What if I really had no money how can I live? What if I get mugged for sleeping out in the streets? or I get beaten up? She never thought all that. 

What happened to me is unfair and uncalled for because it was a life which I had long forgotten but what I am emphasizing to guys out there, social media can really change your fate in a split second. I would never had expected Tik Tok to randomly notify someone that someone in their contact list is on Tik Tok.

This is an example of how social media compromises our data. It has compromised my marriage.  Women being women, regardless of how much we try to justify our actions, if they think you are wrong, you are dead wrong regardless if it was something that happened 5 years or 10 years or 20 years ago. They just can't move on. 

Be very careful guys, don't end up like me. What is done is done, I will just need to move on but having such a memory is deeply haunting and I can never forget this incident even how much I try to erase it from my memory.