03.10.2024

Courage to speak up: A heartfelt thank you from a reader

A reader from the Ceylonese community shares how GC inspired him and his wife to address their marital dissatisfaction, breaking cultural barriers and encouraging others to seek happiness in their relationships.

Photo: The Suit Sri Lanka. Picture for illustration only.

Question from Mr. Pradeep:

Dear GC,

My name is Pradeep, I am a Ceylonese (native Sri Lankan) born in Malaysia, raised in Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. We have a very small Ceylonese community in Seremban. I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you very very very much for encouraging me and my wife to open up our dissatisfaction about our marriage. We both have been living in fear and in unhappiness but did not have the guts to speak up in fear that our honor would be at risk. we Ceylonese are small and we do not share our grievances especially on marital affairs because it is still not widely acceptable by our community. Our circle is limited to Ceylonese so we do not know what is happening with other races in terms of managing unhappiness in marriage until I came across your site that was shared to me by my colleagues. It really opened my eyes that there are so many out there who have stood up against their unhappiness. I did not know that many of people out there are divorcing and they are truly voicing out and taking action for their happiness and mental well-being. I really think this is a very good initiative of GC to share this to the public. When I went through all the feedback by your readers, I was appalled at first at the volume of people dissolving marriages but it gave me the courage to show the feedback to my wife who also was amazed at the volume. She and I are at the opposite end of the spectrum. I knew her for many years but after living together, we did not connect at all but we just went along thinking an unhappy marriage is normal. We live in the same house but we don't talk much. We are mostly quiet with each other, I think we got bored with each other (she always name call me as boring) but just went with it until we discovered GC and saw that there are many out there who share our fate and took action to fight for their own happiness.

I really applaud GC for sharing this because in our Ceylonese community, we don't speak up when a marriage seems out of place. We put on a fake smile and people think we are happy. To us, a marriage is like a knot that is tied forever. Your fate is sealed with this person. That is the perception. If you marry the wrong person, then that is your fate. I always thought this applies to other races but it evidently shows in your publication that it is not.

I almost wanted to enroll to meet a psychologist because I don't feel content with my life anymore. I don't have any monetary issue but I do have chemistry issues and she also feels the same. We just know that we just don't connect with each other and can no longer fake it anymore.

So thank you thank you very much for opening our eyes. You are a live savior. I don't know what would become of us if I didn't come across your site. So thank you again so very much sir. I hope you would continue to share all these issues openly so it would encourage more people to voice out their displeasures in marriage and take the necessary action for their happiness.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Pradeep.

Answer by The Gentleman:

Dear Pradeep,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. It truly means a great deal to us at GC to hear that our content has had such a positive impact on you and your wife. Marriage, as you mentioned, can sometimes feel like an unbreakable knot, but it is important to remember that it also requires consistent effort, affection, and communication to thrive throughout a lifetime.

It’s commendable that you and your wife have opened up about your feelings. This is the first step toward revitalizing your relationship. While it is understandable that cultural norms can make this difficult, I assure you that these conversations are essential to building a deeper connection. As you work through this, I encourage you to take small but meaningful steps toward reigniting the affection and respect that once brought you together.

A simple yet effective way to start is to commit to a weekly date with your wife. Encourage each other to take this opportunity to dress up, take her somewhere special (different location every week), even if it’s just for a quiet dinner, and focus on the moment. Look her in the eyes when you speak—eye contact is incredibly powerful in rekindling intimacy. Over time, you will likely see your marriage reenergized with renewed affection, respect, and romance.

Marriage isn’t just about enduring challenges but about growing together through them. With collective efforts from both of you, I'm confident you’ll find the spark that first brought you together. Keep nurturing that connection, and you’ll be on a path to long-term happiness.

We're honored that GC has played a role in opening up this important conversation for you and your wife. We will continue to provide a platform for open discussions on relationships and personal growth, and we hope that our content continues to be a source of support and inspiration for you and others in similar situations.

We wish you and your wife the very best as you navigate this journey together. May you find the path that leads to happiness and fulfillment, whatever that may look like for you both.

With gratitude and respect,

The Gentleman

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