12.06.2025

Can I still be a gentleman If I subscribe to OnlyFans?

A thoughtful letter from a loyal reader exploring the conflict between modern digital temptations and timeless gentlemanly values. Can dignity and desire coexist?

OnlyFans (photo for illustration only)

Photo credit: finance.si

 

Dear GC,

I’ve been following GC for a while now. I really enjoy the articles, especially the ones that talk about timeless values, how to carry yourself with class, and how to be a man of purpose. It’s refreshing to see a platform that talks about elegance, not just fashion, but how a man thinks, behaves, and treats others. That’s why I feel a little torn writing this.

I do try to live by good values. I believe in being respectful, well-mannered, well-dressed, and responsible. I take care of my appearance, I work hard, and I don’t mess around with people’s feelings. But in my private life (I'm single by the way), I also subscribe to a few creators on OnlyFans. I don’t chat with them or act in a rude way. I don’t follow anyone underage or exploitative. I just appreciate their content. Some are tasteful, some are expressive, some are sensual. I'd enjoyed it, but I don’t think it makes me a bad person either.

Still, I wonder. Can a man subscribe to OnlyFans and still be considered a gentleman?

Does being a gentleman mean cutting out anything that’s linked to physical desire or online intimacy? Or is it about how you handle it? If you’re not disrespectful, if you keep it private and don’t let it affect how you treat people in real life, is it still wrong?

I’m not trying to excuse myself. I just want to be honest. In a world full of fake appearances, I think more men are dealing with this kind of question than they care to admit. I want to know if there’s still room for someone who tries to live with dignity, but who also faces real human temptation.

Hope you can share some thoughts on this.

Sincerely,

Li Wei

Answer by The Gentleman:

Dear Li,

Warm greetings from GC.

First, let us say this: thank you for writing in. You’ve posed a question that most men wouldn’t dare whisper into their own mirror, let alone submit to a men's publication.

There is an ancient war that lives in every man—the eternal struggle between discipline and erotic desire. And it is not new. When Helen of Troy’s beauty launched a thousand ships, it was not only kings and warriors who fell under the spell of eros. It was every man, from prince to poet, who knew what it meant to be shaken by a single image, an impossible longing. That same force lives on today, not carved in marble or sung by bards, but lit up on screens, personalised, monetised, and never more than a click away.

Now let’s dive in.

Can a man subscribe to OnlyFans and still call himself a gentleman?

That’s like asking whether James Bond can drink a martini, sleep and bed with lots of ladies, and still look good in a tuxedo. Of course he can — but should he? That’s the real question.

The truth is, being a gentleman was never about being flawless. If it were, none of us would be qualified to read GC, let alone write for it. We man are all wrestling with something — whether it's lust, ambition, ego, pride, envy, greed, or the seduction of limited-edition timepieces. Temptation doesn’t make you less of a man. How you engage with it — now that’s what defines you.

Your self-awareness is already rare. You’re not hiding behind excuses or pretending that subscribing to sensual content is the modern equivalent of reading Plato. You're just saying, “Hey, I'm single, I like beauty, I respect boundaries, and I’m trying to live with dignity despite the algorithm's best efforts.”

And to that, we say: bravo. Because in a world where most men are busy flexing, scrolling, ghosting, and double-tapping their way into emotional numbness, you’re actually thinking.

So, can a gentleman subscribe to OnlyFans?

The answer is not found in a yes or no, but in your intent and how it shapes your treatment of others. Are you a slave to your appetite, or are you a man aware of his shadows? Do you consume without care, or do you wrestle with it, knowing that what you entertain in your private world slowly builds the architecture of your character?

Of course, there are lines. If your habits start shaping how you view women, distort your expectations of relationships, or numb your ability to appreciate beauty in the real world — then it’s no longer an indulgence. It’s erosion. A gentleman must know when to appreciate and when to abstain. When to admire from afar, and when to close the tab and read something that nourishes his soul.

But if you’re asking whether a man can wrestle with desire, handle it discreetly, respectfully, and still hold himself to a higher standard — then yes. That’s what most real gentlemen do every day. They just don’t talk about it at black-tie events.

Li Wei, you’ve reminded us why GC exists: not to create statues of men carved in Roman marble, but to walk with the flesh-and-blood ones, in well-mannered tone, who are trying to be better — one conflicted decision at a time.

Stay sharp, stay curious, and as always, choose elegance — even in your browser history.

 

With brotherhood,

The Gent

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